Thursday

I feel satisfied today. I'm looking forward to spending the evening with Megan, I'm glad I spent last night with Mike and that David passed his prayer tests that he studied for. I feel like my life is going in the right direction.

There's so much to do before the end of the day on Saturday. I hope my kids will help me out. I need to make sure that the plants don't die while we're away, we need to pack, we need to get ready for the vacation. I need some time to relax!

Day 1

OK, here we go, another weight loss saga, but this time, this time, it's going to work for the long term. Here's why: I have a clear goal in mind, I am prepared to do whatever it takes to get there, I have set myself up for success and I will manage this like a project. I'm good at completing projects, I will be good and this too.

So, here are the details:

Problem statement: I have low energy to do anything but the minimum, I have low self esteem and feel unattractive in my clothes, I am in the big girl clothes and typically have to squeeze into those clothes, I am setting a bad example for my kids and I will not be happy to take pictures at my wedding if I look the way I do now.

Current Situation: 150lbs, low energy, dry skin, 34% body fat

What we know: I have been successful at losing weight before

I used WW and exercise to lose the weight and keep the weight off previously

I felt good about the way I looked when I could fit in smaller clothes and would receive compliments from others

I didn't feel that it was a lot of work to lose the weight when I was doing it, just wanted to not have to worry about the way I looked, wanted better self esteem

I had more energy when I weighed less

I did it with the help of a coach from weight watchers

I had a very specific goal in mind, 20th High School reunion

What we don't know

I was younger when I did it before, can I still do it 2 years later?

Why I stopped focussing on eating well and encouraging myslef to be successful

Day 7, January 15, 2014

So, I said 100 day journey and everyday I imagine will be an adventure.  I am completing the first 7 days of the 100 days.  I rocked the entire day yesterday UNTIL after dinner.  I couldn't stop eating.  I had a large dinner with salad and a lot of chicken and green beans and then... it went down hill.  I ate the pita bread with a ton of hummus and then some potato chips.  I didn't eat as many potato chips as I would typically be eating but ended up going to bed not feeling good about the day's eating as well as with a HUGE stomach ache.  So, lesson learned.  NO HUMMUS, NO POTATO CHIPS.  

I ate my breakfast yesterday with a piece of fruit and oatmeal.  I ate 2 candies yesterday, I ate the lunch I packed and a piece of fruit.  I walked after work just like I planned.  I ate a healthy dinner.  I did everything as planned and then it fell apart.  I don't want to beat myself up, but I'm disappointed that I allowed myself that break in my eating.  I also didn't prepare any food for tonight or tomorrow night.  I will need to stay on track tonight to make sure I make it happen for us.  I also forgot to weigh myself AGAIN this morning.  I literally just thought about that right now.  I need to set it out, somehow, like my clothes, the night before.  Maybe I can leave a note for myself on top of my clothes since that is one of the first things I do when I wake up.  I could also change my alarm message to remind me but I don't really read the message.

I feel so stressed today.  On Monday, things went so well because I was productive, I was not stressed just knocking things out one at a time.  Now, I feel so much stress because of this silly office seating issue.  I'm concerned what type of fall out will happen next week.  I think it will be awkward for everyone.  I'm hoping this doesn't mess with my typical routine or the routine of my personal team.  

I am going to implement one new thing today and that will be if I get hungry, I will get up to grab a drink before I eat anything.  I will also try to force my hand to grab a piece of fruit first before something else.  We'll see how it works out.

So, so far, so good today.  Actually even a little better than expected.  I ate a banana, my oatmeal with sugar and then an orange.  It's already 11:45 so lunch is coming soon enough.  I have a meeting from 1-2 and then a quick break before a class from 3-4.  Then I have the personal trainer this evening and I will also have dinner of stir fry chicken and vegetables.  I will need to figure out a plan for tonight because Mike will be out late tonight.  I need to be good to myself and not eat after dinner.  That will be a little difficult so I will need to strategize to be sure I am successful.

Day 6, January 14, 2014

So, I rocked it yesterday!  Even though the morning was rough, I ate well the entire day and exercised and went to bed feeling pretty fantastic.  I had a great productive day at work and I think that really helped with my outlook on the results for the day.  I really felt good about myself and I woke up this morning feeling pretty stinking good too.  Pretty fantastic!  

So, what went well yesterday?  I really stuck to my eating plan during the day.  I packed my food and ate what I packed.  I got home yesterday and even though I had nearly an hour before the trainer I didn't snack, nor did I feel like snacking.  Maybe because I kept myself ridiculously busy when I got home or maybe because I didn't want to eat before going to the trainer?  I did drink a bunch of water in the afternoon and I ate lunch close to 2pm.  I think there is probably something to that as well.  I will see what things look like today  as far as the timing for eating.  The plan so far will be to have breakfast of oatmeal and 2 pieces of fruit.  I've had the oatmeal already, and ready for one orange.  I am feeling pretty hungry.  I packed my lunch of salad with chicken and a piece of pita bread.  I will also have a piece of fruit for lunch.  Dinner will be something relatively easy since both Matt and Mitch have plans tonight.  I'm thinking of also planning out dinner for tomorrow and Thursday tonight since I will have the most time this evening.  I don't have a late meeting and I don't have any particular appointments.  The only thing I have planned for after work is to head to Walmart for some teeth whitening stuff for Megan.  

OK, this morning did not go great, but not terrible.  It is 12:20 and I have eaten EVERYTHING I brought with me AND 2 candies including a small sized M&Ms and Skittles.  I then read an article about not dieting and people's replies to it.  Somehow that distracted me or convinced me I'm really not that hungry.  Good for me.  This afternoon should be relatively quick at work.  I will need to watch myself at home.  I have a meeting at 1 and a meeting at 2pm.  I then will be heading to Walmart and then home to walk, shower and then dinner/cooking for tonight and the remainder of the week.  I am still on track.  I don't think I will feel so hungry the rest of the day, hopefully.

Day 5, 2014 (January 13, 2014)

Well, this weekend did not go well as far as eating but went very well for exercising.  On Friday afternoon as anticipated I went home and ate hummus with pita bread (2 pieces of pita bread) and then also had some potato chips.  I ended up falling asleep before eating dinner.  So, when I reflect upon my day, I would say, snacking on something that I already know is not a good choice lead to a second poor choice.  I need to figure out a better snack after work.  Also, because I was running around with Megan later than I expected, I ended up getting so tired, I didn't exercise on Friday either.  So, what can I learn from this.  First off, I should have exercised before I ate.  I had plenty of time to go for the walk I wanted to do before I picked up Megan but choose not to.  I can learn from that.

On Saturday things didn't go great either for eating but I did exercise.  On Saturday morning I walked for 5 miles when I woke up!  That was great work on my part.  I came home and had some breakfast which was a scrambled eggs with vegetables mixture.  Then everything went downhill for the remaining of the weekend.  Starting with lunch at Burger King with a fried chicken sandwich and "low fat" french fries.  Then dinner at El Palacio which I started with chips and salsa and then had a full order of chicken fajitas. On Sunday things were not that much better.  I walked around noon for five miles with Mike and then had a good lunch of salad with turkey BUT then had humus with one pita bread and doritos.  Followed by a snack of the remaining wheat thins and then dinner of spaghetti with 2 pieces of bread.  Seriously, I don't think I could have fit in more carbs.  Wow, not a great weekend for eating.

Today is starting out better.  Breakfast of oatmeal, fiber one bar and soon to be an orange.  I really am hungry.  I think about my hunger a lot.  I need to figure out something to curb my appetite.  Ate a small package of skittles.  Hmm, didn't even think about that orange that I can eat.  Will eat that now.  Plans are to go to trainer tonight at 5pm.  Kids will be home tonight so will have grilled chicken with elk steak tonight.  Peeled orange, eating it now.  Definitely curbing my appetite even though it's not very tasty.  Oh yeah, and I still haven't weighed myself, not even once.  Need to figure out how to get in the routine.  Would like to see some results.  Interesting, I am working along and am thinking that I'm hungry, but in actuality, when I really think about how I feel, I am not feeling hungry at all.  I just see the snacks and think I would like to eat them.  Interesting.  Not a good idea to have the candy on my desk.  I just put the candy out of sight.  Should help out. 

Just finished the salad part of my lunch at 1:59pm.  Hungry, but not famished before I started eating.  Did take some of those pills before eating.  I think that has helped with my hunger quite a bit and did NOT give me a stomach ache nor has it made me lose focus either.

Day 2, 2014

OK, so Day 1 went well.  I spoke about the AAR that I wanted to do so I would learn from my experience to make progress.  Here's what happened yesterday:  I ate well for breakfast and lunch and didn't eat any dinner.  I drank water, only in the afternoon and then I walked about 3 miles last night.  I went to sleep around 9:30 or so and it seemed like I had a difficult time falling asleep.  I woke up this morning about 20 minutes after my alarm went off at 4:30 so I was up and moving by 5am.   What was supposed to happen, eat well, exercise, drink water and go to bed on time.  What can I learn from this?  Well, I should have eaten dinner.  Even though I made it, I got frustrated at home and then decided to not eat at all.  I ended up walking the 3 miles instead of eating which ultimately worked out OK.  So, what would I do differently?  I would get home a bit earlier so I could exercise before dinner, take a shower and then eat dinner, before it got to be 8pm.  I would also drink water in the morning so I could have water throughout the day.

So, how is today going?  Very well.  I was VERY hungry this morning around 8am.  Not a big surprise considering I hadn't eaten since about noon the day before.  I planned to eat oatmeal, fruit and a fiber one bar and I did eat that.  In fact, I ended up with 2 pieces of fruit, a banana and an orange.  I still believe that I will not stay fat by overeating fruit.  I packed my lunch which was supposed to be my dinner last night.  So I ate the salad (lettuce, tomatoes and cucumbers) with 2 strips of the fried chicken fingers and balsamic dressing on it.  Lovely, VERY tasty.  Possibly missing a little salt on the chicken but it was yummy.  I just finished a small apple at 2pm.  I have had a few cups of water and some soda today.  Tonight I will eat another salad and some fruit/vegetables for dinner.  I will probably make a Mexican type salad with salsa and red peppers on it.  Also, I am craving the hummus and pita bread too.  I will try to have that as a snack so it doesn't get too late with the carbs.  This weekend should be good.  I plan to go to a potluck tomorrow evening so I should be able to control what I eat there including making sure I bring a good option for myself.  I'm thinking finger sandwiches.  I plan to exercise after I have dropped off Megan at her Dad's.  So I should be ready for dinner around 7pm tonight.  I hope to be able to walk 4 miles each day this weekend.  We will see how it goes.  The best part of walking yesterday was the music I listened too when I walked.  I need to remember to use the restroom before I head out.

The additional item I would like to add is to weigh myself everyday.  I need to remember to do this before I get dressed in the morning to be consistent.

• Rule No. 1. Don’t ever cheat. They never give themselves a break, not even on holidays or weekends.
• Rule No. 2. Eat breakfast. The National Weight Control Registry shows that’s one of the most common traits of those who succeed in keeping those pounds off once and for all.
• Rule No. 3. Get on a scale every day.
• Rule No. 4. Put in the equivalent of a four-mile walk seven days a week.
• Rule No. 5. Watch less than half as much TV as the overall population.
• Rule No. 6. Eat 50 to 300 calories less than most people.

http://www.everydayhealth.com/weight/secrets-to-weight-control.aspx

Really, a year later

I just read the last entry from last year and again it's the same story, the same goal.  I again hear about what I need to do to make sure I'm successful.  The accountability I need should be to myself.  Here's the thing, I am on track.  Here are my additional action items that I need to achieve this success.  Although I have a pattern of NOT doing the right things and NOT reach my goal, so I will recommit to this plan to lose weight over the next 100 days.  Between now and April 18th I will be losing weight, drinking more water and proving to myself that I can achieve a goal I set out for myself.  I have created a pattern so far that I've convinced myself that I find it acceptable to not meet my goals.  That is not the true case.  I need to prove that to myself.  Mike is on board and will support this effort as well.  I feel good that I am prepared to be successful.  A few additional key tips is to make sure I have a clear objective:
Lose 20 pounds in 100 days by exercising, drinking water and making the right food choices.
   (SMART)
The obstacles in my way will only be myself and the time I create for myself to make sure that I make the right choices consistently.  There shouldn't be excuses for making sure I make time to exercise, drink water, and make the right food choices.

Even today I started out well with eating an orange, a fiber one bar and oatmeal with 2 packs of raw sugar.  Then for lunch, I was literally "afraid" to get a sandwich from the cafeteria because I didn't want to naturally order the tater tots that I have ordered for the past week.  So I went to the cafe, ordered a sandwich, made a choice to put mustard on the sandwich vs mayo and made a choice NOT to order tater tots.  Instead, I filled my basket with an orange and a small apple.  I felt sooo hungry but as I finished the first half of my sandwich and paused I thought I would satisfy my hunger with this lunch.  So I then peeled the orange, ate the orange and finally the second half of my sandwich.  I truly was full at that point.  It is nearly 4:00 and I don't feel the hunger I typically feel at this time.  I think I did something right about slowing down a bit as well as filling up on an orange.  Now, I am just thirsty.  Being that I haven't had any water yet, I will take a pause and fill my large cup with some ice water.
   Ok, well, no ice, but plenty of water available.  So, so far, I did pretty good with getting on track.  I also think that each week it would be a good idea like it was suggested to do a quick AAR to understand what I can improve on and what went well.  I think that makes a huge amount of sense.

So, the plan.

A daily log of what I plan to eat
A daily commitment/plan as to when I will exercise (will be flexible with the time)
A daily commitment to drink water

Seems pretty straight forward.  The 100 day challenge suggests to write down the objective, write down time to complete the goal, identify obstacles.  I think I have done that.  Write down people I need to work with to accomplish my goal, devise a plan of action, spell out what I need to do and what's in it for me.

So, the people I need to work with to accomplish my goal really is just my family.  I need to make sure that between now and April 18th, my family understands the priority I will put on exercising and eating well.  The water is really all on my own.  My plan of action entails simply doing it consistently every day.  No breaks allowed.  Just like being an alcoholic, no slip ups.  What I need to do is listed above and what's in it for me?

I think that is really something I want to internalize a bit.  The obvious answer is to look better, but I think there are additional reasons that I would like to uncover.  I think if I do that I will be able to recognize why I have chosen not to be successful in the past.